


Revivification

by NerdsbianHokie



Series: Light in the Sky [2]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Rey is a Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 05:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5772865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdsbianHokie/pseuds/NerdsbianHokie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After enough time, the void created by death was hidden beneath the memories of life - it's existence was eclipsed, shadowed behind the light, but it never vanished.</p>
<p>To vanish, she always figured, was to forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Revivification

**Author's Note:**

> revivification - to restore to life

_“Sleepy head, going off to bed, going off to slumberland, when western skies turn red.”_

_The weight on her shoulder grew.  She turned her head and pressed her nose into dark hair.  The sweet scent tugged at the corners of her mouth.  Tiny fingers grabbed at a lock of her hair._

_“Sleepy head, going off to sleep, into the Woods of Dreams so deep.”_

Leia had already resigned herself to another void, another gap she would eventually learn to pass over without a thought.  It would take some time, but she would move on.

Just like every time before.  Starting with Alderaan, and never ending.

Or, maybe, it would end now.

Han dead.

Ben fully lost to the Dark Side.

Luke so far hidden she couldn’t sense him.

What else did she have to lose?

She kept her face schooled as she made her way through the excited crowd.  There was no reason to dampen their spirits; it would happen soon enough anyway, once the rush had passed and the absences became apparent.

Cheers rose as the Falcon landed.

Leia’s steps didn’t falter at the thought that Han would never fly again.  Didn’t falter at the thought that someone else had flown the Falcon back, someone else would fly it away.  Didn’t falter as the boy, Finn, was carried from the ship.  Didn’t falter at the energy storming around Chewie.

Didn’t falter as...

After enough time, the void created by death was hidden beneath the memories of life - it’s existence was eclipsed, shadowed behind the light, but it never vanished.

To vanish, she always figured, was to forget.

She had never thought it could be warmth, comfort, completion.

Now, as she stared at the girl, she knew.

She knew, but she didn’t understand.

_Han knew something was wrong.  She knew that he knew, yet she couldn’t summon the will to explain what she felt._

_He had huffed at her, and gone to get their children from the landing pad._

_She stood by the window, watching, waiting.  Hoping to all ends that what she felt wasn’t true._

_Then, they were there, walking up the path._

_Han_

_Ben_

_She closed her eyes, holding back the tears._

She didn’t understand how relief lifted her, pulled her attention away from the pain.

She didn’t understand how she was looking at a girl who looked so much like the child she had lost.

She didn’t understand how the Force and her heart were telling her that this girl, still dressed in scavenger garb, and covered in sand; that this girl, who looked so lost and alone; that this girl; this girl…

Leia had done her best to not cry when they had lost Breha.

It wasn’t her way to let emotions take over - or, it was what people expected of her, anyway.  So, she hid her pain, and helped her boys with theirs.

Ben had lashed out, blamed himself, gotten angry.  Luke had spoken to her about it.  He had worried what it would do to the young Jedi.  She had placated him, assured him that Ben would work his way through it, that Luke could help him.

Han had cut off, taking mission after mission, until he came home one day and broke down.  She had held him into the night, giving him silent support.  They had welcomed the morning trying to laugh over memories.

As she held the girl that couldn’t be - shouldn’t be - must be - her daughter, she couldn’t help the tears that welled up.

Some were for Han, and some were for Ben, but she had never been one to cry for grief, never been allowed to cry for grief.

“Are you okay?” she asked after pulling back.

The girl looked down, blinked a few times.  “I don’t know.”

Leia raised a hand to the girl’s cheek.  “You will be.”

The girl turned into her hand for a moment before her jaw tightened.  “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for?”

There were a few moments of struggle.  The girl knew that Leia knew, but didn’t seem to know how.  Finally, she spoke.

“Han….I couldn’t…” Her voice trailed off.  “He was right there, then…”

Leia cut her off, pulled her into another hug.

She didn’t know what to say to comfort the girl, but from the way her body relaxed, the hug was enough for the time being.

_The door had been closed for over a month.  Leia pressed her palm to the wood, then took a deep breath before sliding it open._

_The wave of grief that hit her was expected, the cold was not._

_The window was open.  Breha always had the window opened, no matter the weather._

_Leia walked across the room, and lifted her hands to the window, ready to close it.  Before she could, the view caught her attention.  The tree line not far off - the creek just visible through the trees - the sun beginning to set behind the distant mountain._

_A breeze blew in, chilling her through her clothes.  She dropped her hands without closing the window._

_She sat on the edge of Breha’s bed, and grabbed the stuffed massiff Breha used to drag around.  She held the toy to her chest as she lay down and stared at the wall until she fell asleep._

“Han knew, didn’t he?”

Chewie looked up from the monitor before replying.  Exactly what he said, she didn’t know, but she had known him long enough to get the gist.  Han didn’t _know,_ not the way she did, but he had felt something.

She sighed, “that’s why he went.”

Chewie growled a sad confirmation.  She pressed against him for a moment, then ran her hands along the top of the captain seat.

They had fought, before he left, about Ben and Breha.  Knowing that Ben had turned to the Dark Side, Han had become convinced that he had been responsible for Breha’s death.  Leia had refused that.  She had felt the pain in him when he returned home alone, and had believed it to be what had pushed him.

Now, watching the girl - Rey, she had learned - laugh with Poe and Jessika, she was sure Han had been right.  Partially, at least.

Ben had gotten rid of his sister, hadn’t killed her, but had left her, abandoned her, then let their parents believe her to be dead.

“Weequay pirates,” she scoffed.  She stepped around the chair and sat.  Looking back, it seemed like such a feeble story.  Had she really believed Ben hadn’t been able to handle a few pirates?  Had she really allowed herself to be so blind?

“How do I tell her?”

Chewie grumbled.

“Yes, I have to tell her.”  She sighed.  “She’s been alone for too long.  Besides,” she glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes, “I know you’ve missed her too.”

_She laughed at Han’s comment.  He knocked into her shoulder, the grabbed her wrist, pulling her to a stop._

_“Wha…”_

_He pressed a finger to her lips, smirked, and jerked his head towards the door they just passed.  She quirked up an eyebrow, then grinned._

_Growls were coming from the room.  Low ones, followed by higher imitations._

_“He’s teaching her,” she whispered._

_“Great, between him and Artoo, she’ll speak everything but Basic,” Han muttered.  His tone was rough, but his smile betrayed his amusement._

Everything moved so fast.  Artoo woke.  The map was completed.  Rey insisted that, if she was to be the one to go, she would leave immediately.

Leia barely had a chance to brief her before she was ready to depart.  There had been no time to tell her, no moment that felt right.

Or, that what what Leia told herself, anyway, to ignore that fact that she was scared.

What if Rey hated her?  The girl had spent years alone, and who knew what she had been told as to why.

Now, Rey was about to leave.  She was about to start her journey, to Luke, to becoming a Jedi.

“I’ll send word once we arrive,” Rey said.  She slung her staff over her shoulder.  “I’ll see if I can get Luke to send something.”

Leia laughed.  “Good luck with that.  Luke can be stubborn when he wants.”

Rey smiled, then looked over her shoulder.  Chewie and Artoo were boarding the Falcon, the mechanics were clearing the area.

“I should probably go,” Rey said.

Leia nodded.  Rey looked ready to say something, then turned and started to walk.

Leia’s stomach clenched.  The last time her daughter flew away from her, she didn’t come back.

“Rey.”

The girl turned.  The words were on the tip of Leia’s tongue, only to melt away.

It still wasn’t the right time.

“May the Force be with you.”

Rey stared at her for a moment, then smiled.

_A thud came from the hallway, followed by laughter.  Leia smiled; Han and Ben were home.  Breha squirmed in her arms, pushed against her.  Leia moved her so she was cradled in her arms._

_“Into the Woods of Dreams, we go each night, gathering golden fruit from every tree.”_

_Dark eyes blinked up at her.  A hand reached out and grabbed the finger offered.  Warmth flowed between mother and daughter._

_Leia ran a knuckle across a smooth cheek.  Breha smiled up at her._

_“And if a nightmare thunders thru, why, just hold on to me.”_


End file.
